So I officially started taking the pill a few days ago. This is the beginning of it all. I laughed when I took my pill tonight. 1 tiny pill, once a day won’t get me pregnant but numerous shots, pills, blood draws, ultrasounds, surgical procedures, and an embryo transfer MIGHT get me pregnant. Hilarious. I’m feeling nervous and excited. Each day that passes were closer to checking one medication off the list and getting started on the next. I’ve never wanted time to go by so fast! This process has made me the master at the waiting game because that’s all you have to do when you go through infertility treatment- waiting for your period to start so you can begin the next step, waiting to move on to another medication to see if that works, and the dreaded two week wait to see if all the hard work paid off. WAIT WAIT WAIT! The worst part is you don’t know if all this waiting will pay off in the end.
I’ve been asking myself a lot lately if we’re doing the right thing. Is this really what it’s going to take to have a family? Should we just keep trying a few more months and see if it happens on its own? Am I ready and strong enough to endure this journey that will probably be one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through? The only answer I have for myself is – I don’t know. It’s as simple as that. I don’t know. What I do know is that we’re moving forward with IVF and I may or may not be pregnant in the end. I’m taking this one day at a time.
Oh and Beyonce is pregnant with twins. Why was my first thought “I wonder how much fertility treatment she had to go through to get twins?” sigh, this is the way my brain works now.